Today is my Mom’s 76th birthday. She doesn’t know it’s her birthday. She won’t be celebrating today. I can’t pick up the phone and wish her well. My brother will visit her, I’m sure, but she won’t recognize him.
Mom has Alzheimer’s.
I’ve written about Mom and this disease on Mother’s Day and Alzheimer’s Action Day and referenced it in several other posts. Today, in honor of Mom’s birthday, I thought I would share some happier thoughts.
Let’s start with this photo. Mom was about 19 years old. Beautiful, wasn’t she? No wonder Dad was so smitten! It’s one of my favorites, taken in Germany before she and Dad were married.
By all accounts – well, mostly her own! – Mom was a very good student. After enduring World War II as a young child, Mom grew up in the lovely valley town of Remsfeld, was selected for additional schooling and then an apprenticeship. Mom became a dental hygienist and was a loyal and hard-working employee. After marrying her high-school sweetheart, so to speak, Mom and Dad emigrated to the USA and built a very good life together.
Dad was a bricklayer, so work was seasonal and sometimes times were tough. But, Mom made do with what she had and was never too proud to accept used furniture or used clothing. Mom could whip up a gourmet meal out of a can of Spam, a couple of eggs and a few potatoes! Don’t feel bad though, the things my brother and I wanted for were little luxuries, never the necessities. Mom often did without so we could go with.
After I was born, Mom worked as a housekeeper for several years. She loved mothering those children as much as she loved her own. She simply loved children. Mom volunteered in the schools, Scouts, Sunday School, and Bible School. She put great effort into preparing her lessons and each one was delivered with patience and love.
After my brother was born, Mom started caning chairs so she could continue to be at home with us. It was not an easy craft, however, and Mom spent hours and hours on her feet repairing the seats of beautiful antiques. As we grew older, Mom started volunteering at a local nursing home; perhaps paying in advance for the care that she gets now.
Mom loved her grandchildren dearly. Nothing quite delighted her like when my brother and I and our families would visit. Babysitting the grandchildren was pure joy. She taught the kids Bible stories, silly little songs, appreciation for nature and nearby parks, and the importance of picking up the toys after play. The grandkids loved swimming in the pool, and would eagerly (at least when they were little!) help set the table, prepare dessert, and exchange hugs.
Mom and Dad both loved having friends over to enjoy the pool, or to play a few rounds of Rummy or Canasta while enjoying some good food and drink along the way. Give Mom a reason to pull out the German china and silverware, and she was a happy woman. Coffee and cake was always served, no German hostess would be without!
Mom’s Christian faith was strong and central to the lives my parents lived. Agree or disagree with the roots of religion, their faith gave them both the strength they needed to dwell in positivity rather than the diseases they each would greatly suffer from.
My Mom is about to become a great-grandmother, as my grandson is due on Tuesday. She would have delighted in the event! I could just see her clappping her hands together, pursing her lips, and enthusiastically shivering as she always did when excited by happy news.
All we can do now is hope that all the birthdays Mom was fully present for were good ones. Hopefully, she felt our love and gratitude. Even when we disagreed, it was never without an appreciation for the hard times she endured and the joy she chose to dwell in every day.
Happy birthday, Mom.
