Overcome and shine!

Posted February 6, 2010 by El
Categories: Leadership, Possibility

Tags: , , , , , ,

“A little bit of nervousness, a little bit of butterflies is kind of what gives you that edge.” -Drew Brees

“If you have stage fright, it never goes away. But then I wonder: is the key to that magical performance because of the fear? ” -Stevie Nicks

I like to think that I’m a pretty good communicator, even in a public forum.  I have facilitated brainstorming sessions, large group meetings, community volunteer rallies, training sessions, and various other types of gatherings that required me to be in the front of the room.  I get very good feedback from the participants.

If I am in a position where I have to take the stage, so to speak, I will.  And, I will give it my best and do it well.  However, I don’t readily seek out those opportunities.  My confidence flounders.  I worry that I won’t serve the audience well.  I catch myself being present to anxiety instead of being fully present to possibility and opportunity.

I have recently been involved in scheduling some meetings across the country to seek feedback on a new product concept. I have avoided being the lead in those meetings because other people have stronger, established relationships with our interviewees.  My concern was that if I failed to “perform well,” I could compromise the success of our project, as well as diminish the impression that peers may have of me as a competent communicator.  Even though I know the concept inside and out, having been involved since it was just a glimmer in someone’s vision, I was still afraid that I would not be able to speak to it with an expert’s confidence.

Of course, it was all nerves and fear of failure.  It was the introvert in me thinking that an extrovert’s skills are needed for these meetings.  It was stage fright.  I was ignoring the gifts I have to engage others in an inspired, shared dialogue.

Until I got an email from the owner of our company that reminded me of what I bring to the table.

I had spoken to him about doing an introduction to one of the people we wanted to interview.  Those of us involved in the project did not have a strong (or any) relationship with her, but he did.  He agreed to call her and propose the interview idea.  He then sent me an email which included the following:

You should really think about flying to Chicago to visit personally with her.  I could see you and her hitting it off big time.  She is smart, good looking, motivated, and a proven leader.  Just as you are!

My response?  If he believes in me, I should too!  I’m going to Chicago and taking the lead on this one!  I’m sure it will be fine.  My nervousness will help me prepare far better than if I weren’t worried at all.  As Drew Brees said above, perhaps that nervousness will actually give me an edge.  Or, like Stevie Nicks, will the fear lead to a magical experience?

What I need to think about is why did I need the vote of confidence from someone else in a position of authority and leadership instead of just having that confidence to begin with?  I need to spend some time on that one.

I’m curious about your experiences.  How do you deal with stage fright, nerves, of lack of confidence?  How can we be as confident about our abilities as others are?

And, what would you do if you knew you would not fail?

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Beauty in the dead of winter

Posted February 4, 2010 by El
Categories: Living Fully Present

Tags: , , , , ,

Have you seen beauty today?  Have you felt beauty today?

I hear many people grumbling about how cold it is, or why it’s snowing again, or how tired they are of gray skies.  It seems they’ve had enough of winter and they are hoping for spring to arrive early.

Even in the dead of winter, there is beauty to be found - if you are being fully present to the possibility of that beauty.  See it with your eyes.  Feel it with your heart.  Don’t wish it away before you notice it’s here.

Take a few minutes and stand perfectly still next to a window and watch the snow fall.  Gently, quietly; pure white, glistening in the sunlight.  Snowflakes. Beautiful.

I bought a bunch of daffodils on Sunday.  Three bunches, actually!  They stand tall in a vase in my family room.  I smile every time I look at them.  Such a pretty shade of yellow.  Simple flowers.  Beautiful.

We try to get together with our children each weekend.  There is nothing so heartwarming as sitting down to dinner and hearing them discuss their jobs, business ventures, friends, and even different opinions on current events.  Family.  Beautiful.

I had an opportunity to lend an ear to a co-worker going through a difficult health issue.  She wasn’t knowingly seeking it, but she needed some compassion and empathy.  Listening with your heart.  Beautiful.

I stopped at the store the other day to buy some greeting cards.  A little further down the aisle was a little girl “helping” her Mom pick out a birthday card for Daddy.  A child’s enthusiasm and love.  Beautiful.

Everyday, ordinary events all around us are filled with beauty.  Can you see it?  Do you feel it?

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Update on gifts to Haiti

Posted February 3, 2010 by El
Categories: Health, Possibility, Random, Service

Tags: , , , , , ,

Living in generosity is a beautiful thing.  Working with people who share that spirit is awesome.

In addition to a truckload of clothing and household articles, the final tally of Progressive Medical’s employee cash contributions to The American Red Cross is $4500.  The company is matching employee donations dollar for dollar to fund medications for the relief effort, bringing our total to:

$9000.00!

Wow.  How cool is that?

Image courtesy of deviantart.com

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Go for the…silver?

Posted February 1, 2010 by El
Categories: Entertainment, Random, Sports

Tags: , , , , ,

It’s February 1st.  Can you believe it?

Lots of great days are observed in February; Groundhog Day, the Super Bowl, Valentine’s Day, Washington’s birthday, Lincoln’s birthday, and Ash Wednesday.  This year, we also celebrate a special event that only comes along every four years, the Winter Olympics.

The Olympic Torch Relay is getting closer and closer to Vancouver.  The Olympic flame will be lit on February 12, signaling the start of the greatest international competition in sports.  Following the final event, the men’s gold medal hockey game, the closing ceremonies will culminate with the flame being extinguished on February 28. 

The sixteen days of the Olympics will be filled with much more than competition and medals.  I l0ve the background stories that are told about the athletes.  Getting to know the athletes a little bit, hearing about their personal triumphs and struggles on the road to Vancouver, hearing what motivates them, is all quite fascinating to me.

I admit, I suffer from Olympic addiction.  Or, I enjoy Olympic addiction and my husband suffers from it!  I tend to watch every moment I can which makes him a little crazy. I’ll also be writing about it; there will be several posts inspired by Olympic stories, I’m sure.

My favorite Winter Olympic events include short track speed skating, ski jumping, luge, men’s ice hockey, alpine skiing and figure skating.  Speed, grace, individual excellence, team effort.  I haven’t quite figured out curling, but I enjoy watching it, too! (Wouldn’t it be great to be a sweeper?)

Other than ice skating on Watching Lake, NJ with my parents when I was a kid, I never participated in any winter sports.  But, I always feel a little closer to my German heritage while watching them.  Although my parents always cheered for the American athletes, their nationality was evident during the Olympics.  Now that my Dad is no longer living and Mom no longer has her mental faculties, I feel that I need to step up and cheer on the German athletes on their behalf.

I’ll be cheering U-S-A, U-S-A as enthusiastically and patriotically as anyone, and hope our athletes bring home the gold – lots of gold!  But, I’ll also be cheering for the German atheletes to compete well and win – the silver!

PS: On Twitter, follow 2010Tweets for timely updates from the Vancouver Olympics.  On Facebook, become a fan of Vancouver 2010 Olympics

Images used in accordance with Vancouver Olympic Media guidelines.

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The Optimist’s Creed

Posted January 29, 2010 by El
Categories: Leadership, Living Fully Present, Possibility, Random

Tags: , , , ,

Imagine the possibility of a life lived being fully present to positivity!  The Optimist’s Creed may help get you there.

A creed is a statement of belief.  We see this word most often in conjunction with religious beliefs, i.e., the Apostles Creed in Christianity or the Shahadah in Islam.  However, it can really be a statement of belief about any number of subjects, such as social values or political leanings.

I recently came upon The Optimist’s Creed, written by McClandburgh Wilson and first published in 1904.  It is a statement of commitment to oneself to live an optimistic life.

Wilson lived at the turn of the last century, and her poetry was published in The New York Times and Harper’s Magazine, among other publications.  She also published a book of poetry, titled The Little Flag on Main Street, published in 1917, and re-published in 2009 by Kessinger Publishing. 

As someone who tries to dwell in positive possibility, I like the message in this creed.  It’s not about denying the sadness and pain of life, but about spending your energy focusing on the good.

The Optimist’s Creed

Promise yourself:
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistkaes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you greet a smile.
To give so much to the development of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too striong for defeat, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

How is your attitude towards life?  Would you like to be more optimistic?  What do you need to change or redirect in order to do so?

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Peace and Compassion

Posted January 27, 2010 by El
Categories: Leadership, Living Fully Present, Possibility, Service

Tags: , , , , ,

If you’ve been a long time reader, you know that in one of my leadership classes, we went through an exercise that resulted in a declaration of who we are and how we intend to show up in the world - what do we stand for?

My declaration was to be the possibility of peace through a compassionate heart.

Imagine, then, my delight when I turned the page to the following on my “Peaceful Quotes” calendar this past weekend:

One of the secrets of inner peace is the practice of compassion.  If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.  Without them, humanity cannot survive. 

- Tenzin Gyatso, the Dalai Lama

Practice compassion.  Share love.  Live in peace. 

.

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It’s simple: Healthcare reform is needed.

Posted January 25, 2010 by El
Categories: Health, Politics, Possibility

Tags: , , , , ,

This post is not my typical style.  It is a real life story that I feel needs to be told.  And, it’s my story.  I hope you’ll read it and respond – in words and action.

Something is wrong with healthcare, and reform is needed.  I get that we need to negotiate what that means.  No matter how hard I try, though, I don’t get people who disagree with the very notion of reform.

 The problems with the healthcare industry don’t always involve major surgery and big money.  Here is a much simpler story illustrating one reason reform is needed. 

Let me start at the end.

Last week, I mailed a check for $15 to my gynecologist to cover my co-pay for my annual exam.  The remarkable thing about that $15 is that it was the second co-pay for the same appointment.  I didn’t know that could happen.  Here’s how it did.

Some background information:

I am blessed to be generally quite healthy.  I don’t have any serious ongoing health challenges. I take no medicines, I have no chronic diseases.  I’ve had kidney stones, a touch of arthritis in my shoulder, a few mammogram callbacks, one negative biopsy; fortunately, nothing more serious than that.  About two and a half years ago, I also had a hysteroscopy to help treat some menstrual issues I was experiencing – and that is very much related to this story.

Why I view healthcare the way I do:

I have been a supporter of some form of universal healthcare availability and healthcare reform for as long as those concepts existed. In large part, my opinions were formed while watching my parents struggle through numerous diseases (Cancer, Hepatitis C, Alzheimers, Parkinsons) and various surgeries (hysterectomy, colonoscopy, lung removal,  fractured ankle) while having to carry their own health insurance.  Carrying private health insurance  (BC/BS) was one of the highest expenses my parents had, eating up about 20% of their income.  My Dad was a bricklayer and his employer of 25+ years did not provide this benefit.

Their struggle with the cost of healthcare was ongoing, but most seriously revealed itself in the early 90s.  Because his brother had been diagnosed with colon cancer a few years earlier, my Dad was pretty certain that his low back pain and dark stool meant he also had colon cancer. However, he delayed confirming this suspicion and endured a great deal of pain for about two months longer than he should have due to the insurance rules in place at the time.  He would have been significantly penalized – a pre-existing condition would not have been covered – because he was about to change insurance carriers.  He waited, and the tumor grew.  This most definitely had an impact on me and strengthened my feelings about access and affordability of healthcare.

One doctor visit, two co-pays

 This past November, I had my annual gynecological exam.  My doctor performed the usual breast exam and pap smear.  As he did last year too, my doctor asked how I was doing with the previous menstrual issues.  I told him that while the surgery helped for about a year, the problem was back to where it was pre-surgery.  We went on to discuss scheduling a couple of follow-up tests and also discussed the possibility of another hysteroscopy.  With menopause around the corner, both of us were trying to avoid the major surgery of a hysterectomy.  The exam and discussion lasted less than fifteen minutes.  I paid my $15 co-pay on my way out.

About a month later, I got a statement from my doctor indicating a balance due of $15, for the co-pay due for that visit.  I sent the bill back, with a note indicating the check number of the payment made at the appointment.

A few weeks ago, I went in for my pre-op exam, and was told that I still had a balance due of $15.  I explained that I paid it at my last visit, and had returned my bill with a note to that effect, and reiterated that I did not owe the $15.  The receptionist spoke to the office manager, who then explained to me that I had paid the co-pay for the annual exam, but owed the co-pay for the diagnostic sick visit.  I was puzzled, thought she was incorrect, and told her that I was not going to pay the bill but would contact my insurance carrier about it.

“That doesn’t seem right.”

When I got home, I pulled out my EOB (explanation of benefits) and closely examined it.  I saw the following charges had been submitted by the doctor: $150 for routine exam, $10 for speciman handling, and $115 for office visit. 

I called my insurance carrier and explained the situation to them.  The first person said, “That doesn’t seem right,” and asked if I had been to the doctor twice that day.  No, it was one visit.  She said she would escalate it to a supervisor for review.  I updated the doctor’s office to let them know I was still investigating and what the insurance company was doing.

I got a call back from the office manager.  She said, “I don’t know what your problem is.” (Nice customer service.)  She went on to remind me that my appointment was for my annual exam, which only included a breast exam and pap smear.  I should remember, she said, that the doctor could have let me go home and just scheduled me for another appointment.  But, instead, he allowed me to discuss my health issues with him at that time because it was more convenient for me since I was already there.

Funny, I thought that the purpose of an annual exam was to be able to discuss my health issues with my doctor.

“I agree with you, it’s not right.  But, it’s legal.”

A couple days later, I got a call from the billing company hired by the physician’s office.  Apparently, the office manager asked them to call me about the billing.  A much more pleasant woman explained to me that the billing was accurate.  The “well” visit (annual exam) and “sick” visit (discussion of menstrual problems) portions of my exam are legally allowed to be billed with separate billing codes, separate charges, and therefore separate co-pays are due.  She was very sympathetic, even to the point of telling me that she would ask the same questions I was asking.  She acknowledged that it just didn’t seem right, but it was legal.

Legally right vs. morally right

It seemed that everyone involved was acting within the bounds of the rules in place.  I didn’t really have any other options, so I sent my $15 check to my doctor, with a little note that said the following:

“These charges may be legally right, but they are morally wrong.”

It was only $15.  But the principle behind the extra charges is what is wrong with the system.  At an annual exam, a patient should be able to discuss health issues without the insurance carrier being billed an extra $115, and without the patient having to pay another co-pay.  Multiply this by the hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions, of other women discussing health issues at an annual exam.  That adds up to a lot of money.

healthnation.com

It was ONE doctor visit.  However, according to the rules in place, when my doctor asked me a question about my health and I answered with anything other than “Everything’s fine,” the appointment was considered to be BOTH an annual exam AND a sick visit.

Something is wrong.  Reform is needed.

What are your thoughts?  Have you had a similar experience?   Or, perhaps you have another story that illustrates the need for reform?

Leave a comment and share your story.

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Giving Hearts – The results are in!

Posted January 22, 2010 by El
Categories: Random, Service

Tags: , , , , ,

When it comes right down to it, people are compassionate and generous.  Just give them the opportunity.  The total collected yesterday in the Columbus Hope for Haiti event was an astounding $142,591.11!

Thank you, Columbus!

On a related topic, my employer agreed to match dollar for dollar all employee contributions to The American Red Cross over a two week period, ending today.  Through 5:00 yesterday, $2000 was collected.  I am sure that more will come in today, so with the company match, we will be well over $4000.00!

Thank you, people of Progressive Medical!

Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.”  We can extend that to charitable giving, too.  Give whatever you can.  No one alone can solve the problems Haiti is facing, but don’t let that stop you from doing what you can.  Everyone giving a little bit will add up to a lot. 

I have posted the following John Wesley quote before, but I think it is most appropriate to say it once again: 

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”

With a heart full of compassion and gratitude, do what you can; give what you can. 

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Giving Hearts – Columbus Hope For Haiti

Posted January 21, 2010 by El
Categories: Random, Service

Tags: , , ,

“When tragedy strikes, Columbus unites in prayer and support for people in trouble, and there is no doubt that the situation in Haiti demands our attention.” 

Those are the words of Columbus, OH Mayor Michael B. Coleman.  The mayor, The American Red Cross of Central Ohio and Central Ohio media outlets are working together in support of a one day fundraising effort in support of the Haitian people.

Columbus Hope for Haiti takes place today, January 21, from 7:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m., at the Ohio Historical Society parking lot at exit 111 off of Route 71.  Local media celebrities will be on hand to collect donations from drivers and passengers at this drive-through event.

The mayor went on to say:

“We are urging everyone to take a few moments to stop by and give what they can to help hurry aid to Haiti through our partners at the American Red Cross – it could not be easier than stopping at Columbus Hope for Haiti at the Historical Society.”

If you can’t make it to drop off a check or cash donation at today’s event, give whatever you can by donating directly to The Red Cross:

  • Call 1-800-HELP NOW or 1-800-257-7575 (Spanish)
  • Make a secure online contribution by visiting www.redcross.org.  You can choose to designate your contribution to the International Response Fund or specifically to the Haiti response.
  • Text “HAITI”to 90999 to make a $10 donation to Red Cross.

Last week’s earthquake (and subsequent significant aftershocks) was a catastrophic incident demanding worldwide assistance to help the people and culture of Haiti survive.  Millions of people are affected, with several hundred thousand injured and nearly two hundred thousand dead.  Countless people are homeless and hungry; children are orphaned.  Cities are destroyed, resources are scarce or even unavailable.

Giving Hearts

These are desperate times. The people of Haiti need the world to be fully present to their needs.

The generous people of Central Ohio can lead the way.

Please give everything you can.

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How big is big, really?

Posted January 19, 2010 by El
Categories: Health, Random

Tags: , , ,

I started the NutriSystem diet Monday, so I am particularly attentive to articles about healthy living, dieting, and related topics.  I want to share with you some thoughts on an item that was published in Sunday’s Columbus Dispatch about Crystal Renn, the publishing “industry’s reigning plus-size model.”

I wonder what message we are sending to girls, young ladies and women when a fashion feature describes a plus-size model as 5 feet 9, 165 lbs, 30 inch waist, 42 inch hips and a size 12.

Skinny?  No, she’s not.  Plus-Size?  I don’t think so.

A 30 inch waist?  If you are female, I invite you to measure your waist. How much larger – or smaller – would a 30 inch waist be?

A size 12?  I researched several websites and the most common response to the inquiry, “What is the average woman’s dress size in America?” was a size 12.  The Center for Disease Control lists the average woman at 5 foot 4, 164 pounds with a 36 inch waist.  Compare those average numbers to the plus-size model!

I am not denying that we have an issue with obesity in our children – and a growing number of adults.  However, to portray a woman with the above measurements as plus-size is sending the wrong message about body image.  It is this type of messaging that causes girls to fad diet themselves into starvation, to forcibly vomit, to choose anorexic behaviors, and to live unhealthy lives making unhealthy choices.

Ms. Renn suffered through those unrealistic expectations herself.  According to the article, she starved herself into being a thin model.  After she started eating healthy, she became a successful “plus-size” model.  To her credit, she hopes that her fame helps reshape public thinking about what a model really should look like.

What are your thoughts?  Is 5 foot 9, 165 pounds and a size 12 really what we want to portray as plus-size?  Or, is that really perfectly normal?

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Image from: www.bodyscan.human.cornell.edu