Last week, I received the Spring/Summer 2013 catalog of health and wellness classes offered through one of our local hospital systems, Mount Carmel Health. I think it’s wonderful that such low cost classes are available to the community, covering topics such as Grief & Loss, Health & Fitness, Pregnancy & Childbirth, Diabetes Management, and several others. I’m always on the hunt for learning and growth opportunities, so I took a moment to leaf through it.
It gave me pause, though, when I saw the class names under the topic of “Midlife Women’s Programs.” (Interestingly enough, there are no Midlife Men’s Programs, but that may be a post for another day.)
It’s been a fascinating three months since I turned 55. I’ve had many an “Aha! moment,” realizing that things, people and ideas I’ve struggled with throughout my adulthood really don’t have the importance I was assigning. That’s been quite freeing. I can also now acknowledge that it’s OK if something that is important to me isn’t important to others. That may seem like a small idea but, trust me, it’s big. As a result, information and articles about how other women are responding to the aging process attract my attention.
I’ll admit, these classes initially caught my eye due to the name of this blog, “Being Fully Present.” Consider these these titles:
Being Present In Our Busy Lives >< How Practicing Presence Can Change Your Life >< Mindfulness >< Peace Within >< Practicing Self-Compassion >< The Art of Living a Balanced Life >< Living in Gratitude
The question that came to mind is, “What have we done to ourselves?”
Why is such a group of classes needed? Why are there so many women in midlife struggling to find peace, calm, presence, gratitude and balance? I’m sure the hospital is reaching out to fill a need they’ve identified through health trends, community surveys and other tools. This must be a real concern and issue in our community.
As I looked through the other classes in this section, I noticed just as many classes focused on helping midlife women handle the stress and anxiety that comes with the process of aging and the impact of care-giving. I think the answer to the above question can be found in the following class titles; again, in the section titled “Midlife Women’s Programs:
Ageless Body >< Taking Care of Yourself and Others >< Yoga For Stress Relief >< Wellness and Caregivers >< Women and Insomnia >< What Matters Most in The Second Half of Life >< Growing Older Without Children
I don’t really have any complete answers to offer.
It seems to me, though, that perhaps many women need classes on being present and living in peace and gratitude because we take on the pressure of being all things to all people – except for ourselves. Perhaps we should pause, look inward, and ask this simple question:
Who do I want to be?
Then, be it.
We might choose to work ’til we are 75 or retire at 60. We might choose to be a fulltime caregiver for an aging spouse or coordinate our time with a local healthcare facility. We might choose to be an active and involved grandparent or we might not. We might choose to live far away from family and friends and revel in the solitude. We might choose to accept that sometimes we have no choice during a time of crisis and so we choose to do whatever is needed.
The difference is, we are choosing. Once we decide who we want to be and how we want to be that, I think a lot of the pressure will be off. When we do what we are choosing to do, we can focus more on enjoying the experience rather than simply surviving it.
I hope this post starts a conversation I’d love to hear your thoughts.
