I’ve always loved the photo on the left.  It was taken on my baptism day in 1958.  Mom looked so happy.

Fast forward 52 years.  The photo on the right was taken on Mom’s 75th birthday.

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What do I think about on Mother’s Day? I think about Alzheimer’s Disease.

 Last year, I wrote THIS post about my Mom.  She has Alzheimer’s Disease and no longer knows who I am, or recalls anything about her life.  She doesn’t communicate at all.  She just sits in her wheelchair and the world around her goes by.  I can’t even say she stares off into space; she just has en emptiness in her eyes.  I can’t really say anything better than I did last year, so I hope you’ll just take a moment to read that post.

I do have updates to the post, though.  The lost experiences keep adding up.  Since I wrote that post last year, “Wish I Could Say Happy Mother’s Day,” my son and Mom’s only grandson found real happiness and married a wonderful person.  They are now expecting what will be Mom’s first great-grandchild.  My son will also get his Master’s Degree this fall; another milestone she’ll miss.

My daughter, and Mom’s first grandchild, started her own business a year and a half ago, and is awesomely successful.  Mom would be proud not only of Geben Communication’s success, but also my daughter’s focus on Heart of Haiti, helping earthquake victims get back on their feet and supporting themselves through their crafts.  My daughter and son-in-law recently bought their first house, another event that Mom would have been just tickled about.

My niece, my brother’s daughter, graduated from high school last year.  Mom used to take care of her when she was a pre-schooler.  Mom would have been gushing pride to see her successfully graduate and now nearly finished with her first year of college.

The cruelty of Alzheimer’s is that Mom is alive and strong, but is completely unaware of what is happening around her.  Mom can’t help us celebrate these milestones.  As we do, though, we include Mom in our thoughts, thinking of what might have been.

If you can help fight Alzheimer’s by supporting research into this cruel disease, please click HERE. 

(Originally posted Mother’s Day 2011.)

Through partnerships with local churches, the organization not only provides water but long-term community development education.  The Healing Waters approach is three-pronged, as described on their website:

1. Water Treatment Solutions: Our engineers develop scalable, cost-effective water treatment systems that can be transported, installed and locally operated anywhere in the world. 

2. Health and Hygiene Education: A “train the trainer” approach equips local leaders to instill healthy habits through ongoing education for children, young women and adults.

3. Local Ownership Model: Every project is community-owned and operated, with accountability for measurable results so that long-term transformation takes root.

Click on the links to learn more about getting involved from making a one-time or monthly contribution to joining a transformation trip.  You can also follow them on Twitter or like them on Facebook; then help spread the word.

To specifically help my co-worker’s efforts, please add “Sierra District Water Project” in the special instructions comment box on the donations page.  I hope you’ll join me in giving to this very worthy cause.

In my on-again, off-again almost lifelong efforts to lose a little bit of weight and get in better shape, I started diet #167 on Saturday.  (I really haven’t counted; it just feels that way!)  I figured the luck of the Irish couldn’t hurt, right?

I swear I’ve lost and gained the same 20 pounds a dozen times.  I did WeightWatchers several years ago and lost 48, got to my desired weight and kept it off for about five years.  Then, life happened and I returned to my “eating for comfort” ways.  I never put it all back on, but more than I’m comfortable with.

Today, I am thankful for the wonderful weather we have enjoyed this unseasonably warm March. 

“Hey, El, What does that have to do with dieting?” you might be asking. 

Well, the warm weather has made it a joy to be outside getting some exercise.  OK, not really a joy to exercise, but as good as it can get.  My husband and I have been going to a local middle school each night after work.  We run/walk the track and run the bleacher steps.  It’s been “baby steps,” compared to where I hope to be, but last night we did one mile walking, half mile running, and ten steps times six trips up and back down. Progress.

The hubby is pretty excited because he’s a workout fanatic.  He’s enjoying the role of cheerleader.  And, I have to admit, I do run just a bit further on the track next to him then I do by myself.  I’m happy because I’m seeing results.  The muscles are sore, I still hate to sweat, but I’m down four pounds already!

There are numerous personal motivations this time around and I’m planning to stick to it!  Hopefully, in a couple months, I will be reporting that I’ve met my weight goal and maybe even accomplished my dream of being a runner.  And you?  How’s your health and fitness?  Feel free to join the fun.  You’ll be thankful, too.

TIP - if you are looking for a cool and free iPhone app to help you track calories, food and water intake, nutrient balance (more fiber, less fat!), and track your exercise, download MyNetDiary.  It is fantastic!  Enter some basic info about yourself and your goal and it will create a plan for you.  There are great charts and graphs to track your results.  You even get a thumbs up and thumbs down report everyday so you can see what you are doing right and where you can make changes. 

Well, sort of.

I sat next to a startling Elvis look-alike, an actor/musician playing the part of Elvis in a musical currently running in Chicago.  He and a few more cast members were on the flight.  The others were sitting in the two rows behind us.

It was challenging to focus on the book I was trying to read (interestingly enough, a book on gratitude*), because they were a bit of a rowdy bunch, real jokesters.  The one-liners were fast & furious.  I couldn’t help but listen to them, smiling all the while.

Today, I am thankful for the reminder that everyone has a story to tell; everyone is fighting some kind of battle. 

The actors’ conversation wound its way to comparing the metropolitan environment of Chicago to the green fields they saw as we approached Columbus.  They were happy to see the rural environs, though they would have like more hills.  One of the men commented that his home state, Georgia, is just the prettiest place there is.  He explained that the last time he was there was in July, when his brother died. 

It turns out that his brother was a gay man who died of AIDS.  He lived with HIV for many years, but he was deeply troubled by drug addiction, and that combination ultimately took his health in a downward spiral. He developed some kind of related cancer-like disease and, when diagnosed, was told that he had about four months to live.  He died four months later, to the day.

The actor’s voice grew quiet, almost soft.  He wasn’t laughing at this point.  He somberly shared that he and his brother had not been close, only seeing each other maybe once a year, if that often.  However, he did return to his beautiful Georgia about a month before his brother died and they had a great time together.  It was a wonderful visit.  It was the last time they saw each other.  His brother was 44 when he died.

After a quiet moment or two, a comment was made that took the conversation in a completely new direction.  The lightheartedness  and laughter returned.  The entire group started making up songs about silly things, feeding off one another, humoring all of us within earshot.

I hope I never forget how quickly the laughter turned to mournful sadness.

The person behind me was good looking, very quick with the one-liners, had a great singing voice and, apparently, a successful show biz career.  Just looking at the outside, many people might even be envious.  What a life, right? 

But, looking a little deeper, he carries a sad, sad story in his heart.

You just never know.

This past weekend, thanks to a great last minute airfare deal, my husband and I traveled to spend New Year’s with our families.  Included in our weekend was a visit with Mom. 

Today, I am thankful that for nearly our entire visit, Mom sang a happy song!

One of these days, I know that my last visit with Mom will truly end up being my last visit ever with her.

Each time is difficult, and this one was no different.  She does not recognize me.  She doesn’t recognize my husband.  She occasionally mutters something in her native German, but any realistic communication is long past.  She spends her time in  her own world, lost to the rest of us; sitting in a wheelchair or laying in bed.  In several of our more recent visits, she didn’t even seem to see us.  This time though, she clearly made eye contact with my husband and I.  She did not know who we were, but she at least knew we were there.

And, how she sang!

My husband thought she was singing “hallelujah, hallelujah.”  It did sound a lot like that.  Perhaps influenced by recent Christmas carolers?  Maybe she was recalling the carols that she sang so joyously years ago?  I do not know.

What I do know, however, is that whatever prompted it, she was definitely singing a happy song!  I left with tears rolling down my cheeks, but grateful that somewhere deep inside, she still has a song in her heart and was sharing it with those around her.

That’s actually a lot like the Mom I remember.

Mom has Alzheimer’s.

I’ve written about Mom and this disease on Mother’s Day and Alzheimer’s Action Day and referenced it in several other posts.  Today, in honor of Mom’s birthday, I thought I would share some happier thoughts.

Let’s start with this photo.  Mom was about 19 years old. Beautiful, wasn’t she?  No wonder Dad was so smitten!  It’s one of my favorites, taken in Germany before she and Dad were married.

By all accounts – well, mostly her own! – Mom was a very good student.  After enduring World War II as a young child, Mom grew up in the lovely valley town of Remsfeld, was selected for additional schooling and then an apprenticeship.  Mom became a dental hygienist and was a loyal and hard-working employee.  After marrying her high-school sweetheart, so to speak, Mom and Dad emigrated to the USA and built a very good life together.

Dad was a bricklayer, so work was seasonal and sometimes times were tough.  But, Mom made do with what she had and was never too proud to accept used furniture or used clothing.  Mom could whip up a gourmet meal out of a can of Spam, a couple of eggs and a few potatoes!  Don’t feel bad though, the things my brother and I wanted for were little luxuries, never the necessities.  Mom often did without so we could go with.

After I was born, Mom worked as a housekeeper for several years.  She loved mothering those children as much as she loved her own. She simply loved children.  Mom volunteered in the schools, Scouts, Sunday School, and Bible School.  She put great effort into preparing her lessons and each one was delivered with patience and love.

After my brother was born, Mom started caning chairs so she could continue to be at home with us.  It was not an easy craft, however, and Mom spent hours and hours on her feet repairing the seats of beautiful antiques. As we grew older, Mom started volunteering at a local nursing home; perhaps paying in advance for the care that she gets now.

Mom loved her grandchildren dearly.  Nothing quite delighted her like when my brother and I and our families would visit.  Babysitting the grandchildren was pure joy.  She taught the kids Bible stories, silly little songs, appreciation for nature and nearby parks, and the importance of picking up the toys after play.  The grandkids loved swimming in the pool, and would eagerly (at least when they were little!) help set the table, prepare dessert, and exchange hugs.

Mom and Dad both loved having friends over to enjoy the pool, or to play a few rounds of Rummy or Canasta while enjoying some good food and drink along the way. Give Mom a reason to pull out the German china and silverware, and she was a happy woman.  Coffee and cake was always served, no German hostess would be without!

Mom’s Christian faith was strong and central to the lives my parents lived.  Agree or disagree with the roots of religion, their faith gave them both the strength they needed to dwell in positivity rather than the diseases they each would greatly suffer from.

My Mom is about to become a great-grandmother, as my grandson is due on Tuesday.  She would have delighted in the event!  I could just see her clappping her hands together, pursing her lips, and enthusiastically shivering as she always did when excited by happy news.

All we can do now is hope that all the birthdays Mom was fully present for were good ones.  Hopefully, she felt our love and gratitude.  Even when we disagreed, it was never without an appreciation for the hard times she endured and the joy she chose to dwell in every day.

Happy birthday, Mom.

Why is he no longer with us?  Colorectal cancer.

Dad fought cancer for nearly ten years.  In part because he waited to go for his initial test, his diagnosis meant a removal of his rectum and a permanent colostomy.  He endured debilitating chemotherapy treatments for months.  His diagnosis and subsequent treatment forced him to retire from his work as a bricklayer and highly skilled stone mason.  About three years later the cancer returned, this time spreading to his lungs.  He had one of his lungs removed and more chemotherapy.  Over the next few years, tumors would appear in his liver and esophagus.  Radiation treatments left him with severe burns, chemotherapy left him nauseated and worn out.  Finally, the cancer spread to Dad’s spine, which caused unimaginable pain as he continued to try and live a full life, also caring for our Mom who was beginning to sink into Alzheimer’s Disease.  Up until just two weeks before his death, Dad was at home, determined to not only live, but remain independent.

Your Sunday Service challenge this week?  If you are over 50 years old, and haven’t been tested yet, schedule a colonoscopy.  Don’t listen to the myths, it is not a painful procedure. If you’re like me, and have colorectal cancer in your family, you should be tested even earlier.  I’m 53 and have had three colonoscopies, all clear.  Now, I just need to have one every five years.

According to the American Cancer Society, colon cancer is one of the five most common cancers in the United States, and one of the most common causes of cancer deaths.  However, when treated early, before spreading, the five year survival rate is 90%.

Get tested.  It’s your life you may be saving, but also the lives of those who love you that you are impacting by your choice.

If you would like to support colorectal cancer research and patient services, consider giving to the American Cancer Society or the Colon Cancer Alliance.  Before donating to any organization, research how your dollars will be spent.  Charity Navigator is a well-respected resource for you.

Male breast cancer is most often diganosed between the ages of 60 and 70 years, but it can occur in younger men. While men have less breast tissue, they still have breast cells that can experience the same breast cancer changes as women’s breast tissue. However, due to the muscular structure of the male breast, growths are not as easily discovered early, and have often spread before they are found.

 The husband of a former co-worker was diagnosed a few years ago, and he went through many of the same treatments and experiences as women who are diagnosed. I remember how his wife, my co-worker, experienced many challenges not only helping him through radiation and chemotherapy, but also dealing with how some insensitive people reacted to hearing that a man had breast cancer.  This is no joking matter.

NBCAM.com provides the following information about male breast cancer.  Go to this page to read more.  Treatments are very similar to breast cancer in women, up to and including mastectomy.

[Men] It is important to see a doctor if any of the following changes to the breasts is noticed:

• A lump or swelling in the chest area
• Dimpled or puckered skin
• A nipple that is inverted (facing inward)
• Redness or scaling of the nipple or breast skin
• Discharge from the nipple

Most breast lumps in men are due to gynecomastia and not cancer. Gynecomastia, the most common male breast disorder, is an increase in the amount of a man’s breast tissue. However, it is still important to see a medical professional about any of the symptoms, including a lump, to rule out male breast cancer.

If you are a woman observing National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, don’t forget the men in your life.  If you’re not sure how to open up a dialogue on the subject, consider just sending a link to this post.  Include a message saying something like,

“Because I care about you and your health, I thought you should read this.”

I simply had a good old-fashioned case of the “crud!”

How fortunate am I that, when feeling miserable, I could hurry on over to my nearest Urgent Care?  I was seen within fifteen minutes, got a diagnosis, treatment recommendation, and was sent on my way.  Then I quickly stopped at the nearest grocery store to pick up the needed medications. 

It’s easy to get frustrated with the high cost of some medical care, the long wait times in many doctors’ offices, the high cost of medical insurance; or, the lack of insurance altogether.  However…

…today, I am thankful for ready access to healthcare.

Millions of people around the world don’t have adequate healthcare.  Nearby doctors and affordable medications are what the dreams of many ill people are made of.  Instead of complaining about doctors, waits, costs, and the like, I am choosing to focus on the advantages we have over so many when it comes to our health and wellbeing. 

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward

Will you join the gratitude movement?

This month is the first ever World Alzheimer’s Month and today, September 21, is Alzheimer’s Action Day.

This is important for many reasons, but personally because my Mom has been living with Alzheimer’s for about fifteen years, the last six in a specialized care facility.  It is a sad, sad sight to see her these days.  She sits in a chair, staring off into space, occasionally seeming to see something that launches her into anger and angst.  Two years ago came the day I feared the most, when she no longer recognized me.

Alzheimer’s is a cruel, cruel disease of the brain.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association website, “Today, there are more than 35 million people living with dementia worldwide. And Alzheimer’s disease is the only cause of death among the top 10 in America without a way to prevent, cure or even slow its progression. It’s going to take all of us to end this disease, but together, we can move toward a world without Alzheimer’s.”

What can you do?

Learn about Alzheimer’s Disease. Know the signs.  Don’t abandon friends and neighbors that are diagnosed or are caregivers. Watch this message from President Obama and share the concerns that you would like the National Alzheimer’s Plan to address.   Help turn Twitter and Facebook purple by substituting your profile picture with the End Alz emblem.  And, if you can financially support Alzheimer’s research efforts, click here and please give what you can. 

The End of Alzheimer’s Starts With Me. And You.