This past weekend, thanks to a great last minute airfare deal, my husband and I traveled to spend New Year’s with our families.  Included in our weekend was a visit with Mom. 

Today, I am thankful that for nearly our entire visit, Mom sang a happy song!

One of these days, I know that my last visit with Mom will truly end up being my last visit ever with her.

Each time is difficult, and this one was no different.  She does not recognize me.  She doesn’t recognize my husband.  She occasionally mutters something in her native German, but any realistic communication is long past.  She spends her time in  her own world, lost to the rest of us; sitting in a wheelchair or laying in bed.  In several of our more recent visits, she didn’t even seem to see us.  This time though, she clearly made eye contact with my husband and I.  She did not know who we were, but she at least knew we were there.

And, how she sang!

My husband thought she was singing “hallelujah, hallelujah.”  It did sound a lot like that.  Perhaps influenced by recent Christmas carolers?  Maybe she was recalling the carols that she sang so joyously years ago?  I do not know.

What I do know, however, is that whatever prompted it, she was definitely singing a happy song!  I left with tears rolling down my cheeks, but grateful that somewhere deep inside, she still has a song in her heart and was sharing it with those around her.

That’s actually a lot like the Mom I remember.

Mom has Alzheimer’s.

I’ve written about Mom and this disease on Mother’s Day and Alzheimer’s Action Day and referenced it in several other posts.  Today, in honor of Mom’s birthday, I thought I would share some happier thoughts.

Let’s start with this photo.  Mom was about 19 years old. Beautiful, wasn’t she?  No wonder Dad was so smitten!  It’s one of my favorites, taken in Germany before she and Dad were married.

By all accounts – well, mostly her own! – Mom was a very good student.  After enduring World War II as a young child, Mom grew up in the lovely valley town of Remsfeld, was selected for additional schooling and then an apprenticeship.  Mom became a dental hygienist and was a loyal and hard-working employee.  After marrying her high-school sweetheart, so to speak, Mom and Dad emigrated to the USA and built a very good life together.

Dad was a bricklayer, so work was seasonal and sometimes times were tough.  But, Mom made do with what she had and was never too proud to accept used furniture or used clothing.  Mom could whip up a gourmet meal out of a can of Spam, a couple of eggs and a few potatoes!  Don’t feel bad though, the things my brother and I wanted for were little luxuries, never the necessities.  Mom often did without so we could go with.

After I was born, Mom worked as a housekeeper for several years.  She loved mothering those children as much as she loved her own. She simply loved children.  Mom volunteered in the schools, Scouts, Sunday School, and Bible School.  She put great effort into preparing her lessons and each one was delivered with patience and love.

After my brother was born, Mom started caning chairs so she could continue to be at home with us.  It was not an easy craft, however, and Mom spent hours and hours on her feet repairing the seats of beautiful antiques. As we grew older, Mom started volunteering at a local nursing home; perhaps paying in advance for the care that she gets now.

Mom loved her grandchildren dearly.  Nothing quite delighted her like when my brother and I and our families would visit.  Babysitting the grandchildren was pure joy.  She taught the kids Bible stories, silly little songs, appreciation for nature and nearby parks, and the importance of picking up the toys after play.  The grandkids loved swimming in the pool, and would eagerly (at least when they were little!) help set the table, prepare dessert, and exchange hugs.

Mom and Dad both loved having friends over to enjoy the pool, or to play a few rounds of Rummy or Canasta while enjoying some good food and drink along the way. Give Mom a reason to pull out the German china and silverware, and she was a happy woman.  Coffee and cake was always served, no German hostess would be without!

Mom’s Christian faith was strong and central to the lives my parents lived.  Agree or disagree with the roots of religion, their faith gave them both the strength they needed to dwell in positivity rather than the diseases they each would greatly suffer from.

My Mom is about to become a great-grandmother, as my grandson is due on Tuesday.  She would have delighted in the event!  I could just see her clappping her hands together, pursing her lips, and enthusiastically shivering as she always did when excited by happy news.

All we can do now is hope that all the birthdays Mom was fully present for were good ones.  Hopefully, she felt our love and gratitude.  Even when we disagreed, it was never without an appreciation for the hard times she endured and the joy she chose to dwell in every day.

Happy birthday, Mom.

Why is he no longer with us?  Colorectal cancer.

Dad fought cancer for nearly ten years.  In part because he waited to go for his initial test, his diagnosis meant a removal of his rectum and a permanent colostomy.  He endured debilitating chemotherapy treatments for months.  His diagnosis and subsequent treatment forced him to retire from his work as a bricklayer and highly skilled stone mason.  About three years later the cancer returned, this time spreading to his lungs.  He had one of his lungs removed and more chemotherapy.  Over the next few years, tumors would appear in his liver and esophagus.  Radiation treatments left him with severe burns, chemotherapy left him nauseated and worn out.  Finally, the cancer spread to Dad’s spine, which caused unimaginable pain as he continued to try and live a full life, also caring for our Mom who was beginning to sink into Alzheimer’s Disease.  Up until just two weeks before his death, Dad was at home, determined to not only live, but remain independent.

Your Sunday Service challenge this week?  If you are over 50 years old, and haven’t been tested yet, schedule a colonoscopy.  Don’t listen to the myths, it is not a painful procedure. If you’re like me, and have colorectal cancer in your family, you should be tested even earlier.  I’m 53 and have had three colonoscopies, all clear.  Now, I just need to have one every five years.

According to the American Cancer Society, colon cancer is one of the five most common cancers in the United States, and one of the most common causes of cancer deaths.  However, when treated early, before spreading, the five year survival rate is 90%.

Get tested.  It’s your life you may be saving, but also the lives of those who love you that you are impacting by your choice.

If you would like to support colorectal cancer research and patient services, consider giving to the American Cancer Society or the Colon Cancer Alliance.  Before donating to any organization, research how your dollars will be spent.  Charity Navigator is a well-respected resource for you.

Male breast cancer is most often diganosed between the ages of 60 and 70 years, but it can occur in younger men. While men have less breast tissue, they still have breast cells that can experience the same breast cancer changes as women’s breast tissue. However, due to the muscular structure of the male breast, growths are not as easily discovered early, and have often spread before they are found.

 The husband of a former co-worker was diagnosed a few years ago, and he went through many of the same treatments and experiences as women who are diagnosed. I remember how his wife, my co-worker, experienced many challenges not only helping him through radiation and chemotherapy, but also dealing with how some insensitive people reacted to hearing that a man had breast cancer.  This is no joking matter.

NBCAM.com provides the following information about male breast cancer.  Go to this page to read more.  Treatments are very similar to breast cancer in women, up to and including mastectomy.

[Men] It is important to see a doctor if any of the following changes to the breasts is noticed:

• A lump or swelling in the chest area
• Dimpled or puckered skin
• A nipple that is inverted (facing inward)
• Redness or scaling of the nipple or breast skin
• Discharge from the nipple

Most breast lumps in men are due to gynecomastia and not cancer. Gynecomastia, the most common male breast disorder, is an increase in the amount of a man’s breast tissue. However, it is still important to see a medical professional about any of the symptoms, including a lump, to rule out male breast cancer.

If you are a woman observing National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, don’t forget the men in your life.  If you’re not sure how to open up a dialogue on the subject, consider just sending a link to this post.  Include a message saying something like,

“Because I care about you and your health, I thought you should read this.”

I simply had a good old-fashioned case of the “crud!”

How fortunate am I that, when feeling miserable, I could hurry on over to my nearest Urgent Care?  I was seen within fifteen minutes, got a diagnosis, treatment recommendation, and was sent on my way.  Then I quickly stopped at the nearest grocery store to pick up the needed medications. 

It’s easy to get frustrated with the high cost of some medical care, the long wait times in many doctors’ offices, the high cost of medical insurance; or, the lack of insurance altogether.  However…

…today, I am thankful for ready access to healthcare.

Millions of people around the world don’t have adequate healthcare.  Nearby doctors and affordable medications are what the dreams of many ill people are made of.  Instead of complaining about doctors, waits, costs, and the like, I am choosing to focus on the advantages we have over so many when it comes to our health and wellbeing. 

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward

Will you join the gratitude movement?

This month is the first ever World Alzheimer’s Month and today, September 21, is Alzheimer’s Action Day.

This is important for many reasons, but personally because my Mom has been living with Alzheimer’s for about fifteen years, the last six in a specialized care facility.  It is a sad, sad sight to see her these days.  She sits in a chair, staring off into space, occasionally seeming to see something that launches her into anger and angst.  Two years ago came the day I feared the most, when she no longer recognized me.

Alzheimer’s is a cruel, cruel disease of the brain.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association website, “Today, there are more than 35 million people living with dementia worldwide. And Alzheimer’s disease is the only cause of death among the top 10 in America without a way to prevent, cure or even slow its progression. It’s going to take all of us to end this disease, but together, we can move toward a world without Alzheimer’s.”

What can you do?

Learn about Alzheimer’s Disease. Know the signs.  Don’t abandon friends and neighbors that are diagnosed or are caregivers. Watch this message from President Obama and share the concerns that you would like the National Alzheimer’s Plan to address.   Help turn Twitter and Facebook purple by substituting your profile picture with the End Alz emblem.  And, if you can financially support Alzheimer’s research efforts, click here and please give what you can. 

The End of Alzheimer’s Starts With Me. And You.

Today, parents-to-be may experience their first ultrasound very early in the pregnancy, often at just two to three months along.  There are usually a couple more throughout the pregancy to check on the baby’s development.  It’s remarkable, really, when you think about the wonder of it all.

Today, I am thankful for modern neonatal technology.

Last week, our son and daughter-in-law had their first ”3D” ultrasound.  It’s not just a flat black & white photo, but there is dimension to the image.  We can see the roundness of  our our grandson’s cheeks, just like his Mom’s. We can see the broadness of his forehead, just like his Dad’s.  We can see the gentle curve of his nose, the shape of his lips, his little chin tucked into his chest. We can even see the shape of his tiny nostril.

In another shot, we can see the baby’s arms crossed in front of his chest.  We can see the roundness of his shoulders, the crook of his elbow, even the little fingers we’ll soon hold.

Most of all, we can see the love that we already feel.  Can’t wait to meet you, Max!

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward

Will you join the gratitude movement?

As I reflect today, though, there are still so  many things to be thankful for…

My stitches were removed yesterday, and the scar on my face isn’t nearly as bad as it first looked.  My eyes are starting to feel better and my vision will return to clarity.

The worst of the summer heat is over.  The weather has been beautiful this week as the temperatures are lower and breezes haved kicked up, reminding me that time at the beach is near.

Our daughter’s company, Geben Communication, and our son-in-law’s company, 3o Lines, continue to grow. Their individual and combined successes are incredible.

Our son and daughter-in-law will be visiting in just a couple weeks; in town for a baby shower to help them prepare for our first grandchild, Max. We haven’t seen them for nearly three months, we can hardly wait!

The people I work with continue to amaze me with their commitment to customer service, positive attitude toward change, and desire to grow as leaders.

My husband continues to be a rock of support through my health issues, recent stresses at work, and a true partner for life in general. 

As I write this, I am watching a beautiful sunrise through my window.  The pastel skies are welcoming another great day.

I have a wonderful life and I choose to live in gratitude for all it brings.

What are you thankful for today?

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward 

Will you join the gratitude movement?

The Lions Club International can put your old glasses to very good use.

The World Health Organization estimates that 153 million people need refractive vision correction.  These are not complex needs, but simple near- or far-sightedness, or astigmatism.  For a cost of just eight cents each, the Lions Club eyeglass recycling program can refurbish and recycle your glasses, making a significant difference in someone’s life.

Most public libraries have eyeglass collection boxes.  From there, the glasses go to a Lions Eyeglass Recycling Center, where sunglasses are sorted from clear glasses, broken frames or lenses are separated, and children’s glasses are sorted from adult’s glasses.  The prescription of the glasses is identified and then the glasses are cleaned, packaged and labeled accordingly.

At Lions International vision missions, hundreds of people wait in line to have their eyes checked, prescription identified and then be matched with donated glasses matching their needs.  It is remarkable for someone who has not seen clearly enough to read, drive or get a job, or even see the details of their child’s face, to be given the gift of clear eyesight.

Next time you open a drawer and see your old eyeglasses jsut sitting there, take them to your local public library.  It is just that easy to make a big difference in someone’s life.  If your library is not a collection center, you can try your local optometrist’s office, or contact your local Lions Club for help.  You can also mail your glasses to Lions Clubs International Headquarters, Attention: Receiving Department, 300 W. 22nd Street, Oak Brook, IL 60523, USA.

If you would like to make a financial contribution to the Lions’ vision program, click HERE to donate online. At a recycling cost of eight cents for a pair of glasses, your donation can go a very long way.

Right?

Wrong.

Today’s tumor was 1.2 cm, more than twice the size of last week’s 1 cm growth.  The incision, due to it’s proximity to my mouth and the doctor’s desire to not alter the shape of my lips, was 6.5 cm, nearly three times as long as last week’s incision of 2.5 cm.  I have 20 stitches, 5 more than last week’s surgery.  Most of the second incision was straight, along the laugh line, so even though it was much longer, the number of stitches didn’t multiply accordingly.

So, thankfully, that’s it for now.  A month of healing for the swelling to go down, about a year for permanent coloration. Hopefully, the scars won’t be too obvious since they are in a laugh line.  Then, annual body scans going forward to catch any other growths early.  I’ll still spend time at my favorite beach for vacation.  I’ll just be much, much smarter and diligent about protecting my skin.

I hope that you’ll remember my experience.  Protect your skin and your child’s skin.  The doctor said most of the long term damage happens when you’re young.  Skin cancer is not a disease limited to older people, it simply waits until then to reveal itself.  Tell your friends. Tell your family.  Use sunscreen. Wear protective clothing.

What can you do?

Use  a lotion with a higher SPF rating; a 4 or an 8 is not enough.  Your lotion should have both UVA and UVB protection for skin surface and deeper tissue protection.  Apply generously, frequently and reapply after going in the water – even if your brand’s label says it is waterproof.  Wear sunscreen anytime you are outside, not just specifically when tanning.  Avoid tanning beds. 

Click HERE for a tip sheet on how to best protect your skin and HERE for the top five products rated by ConsumerSearch.com.  You can also find wide range of information on the American Cancer Society’s website.  Click HERE and be sure to check the pull down menu labelled “TOPICS.”

Be smart. Take care of your skin.  You need it for your whole life.