This past weekend, thanks to a great last minute airfare deal, my husband and I traveled to spend New Year’s with our families.  Included in our weekend was a visit with Mom. 

Today, I am thankful that for nearly our entire visit, Mom sang a happy song!

One of these days, I know that my last visit with Mom will truly end up being my last visit ever with her.

Each time is difficult, and this one was no different.  She does not recognize me.  She doesn’t recognize my husband.  She occasionally mutters something in her native German, but any realistic communication is long past.  She spends her time in  her own world, lost to the rest of us; sitting in a wheelchair or laying in bed.  In several of our more recent visits, she didn’t even seem to see us.  This time though, she clearly made eye contact with my husband and I.  She did not know who we were, but she at least knew we were there.

And, how she sang!

My husband thought she was singing “hallelujah, hallelujah.”  It did sound a lot like that.  Perhaps influenced by recent Christmas carolers?  Maybe she was recalling the carols that she sang so joyously years ago?  I do not know.

What I do know, however, is that whatever prompted it, she was definitely singing a happy song!  I left with tears rolling down my cheeks, but grateful that somewhere deep inside, she still has a song in her heart and was sharing it with those around her.

That’s actually a lot like the Mom I remember.

For a small donation ($5.oo per card suggested), volunteers at St. Jude’s will personalize the card you choose by December 9 and mail it in time for delivery by December 24.  There are five designs to choose from; two with children’s photos on them (one Christmas, one holiday) and three with artwork drawn by children treated at St. Jude’s (one Christmas, one winter, one Hannukah).

Click HERE to choose your design, upload your address list and make your donation.  Then, cross this task off your holiday list!

Take a few moments to explore the other options available, too.  You can purchase cards to personalize and mail yourself.  You can send e-cards from the site if you prefer an all electronic option.  You can print cards or card inserts at home to let your family and friends know that you made a donation to St. Jude’s in their honor.

This is a great way to get your holilday cards done, let the people in your life know how much they mean to you, and help a very good cause at the same time.  Consider this effort to support the important research and treatment delivered at St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital every day: Finding Cures. Saving Children.

Mom has Alzheimer’s.

I’ve written about Mom and this disease on Mother’s Day and Alzheimer’s Action Day and referenced it in several other posts.  Today, in honor of Mom’s birthday, I thought I would share some happier thoughts.

Let’s start with this photo.  Mom was about 19 years old. Beautiful, wasn’t she?  No wonder Dad was so smitten!  It’s one of my favorites, taken in Germany before she and Dad were married.

By all accounts – well, mostly her own! – Mom was a very good student.  After enduring World War II as a young child, Mom grew up in the lovely valley town of Remsfeld, was selected for additional schooling and then an apprenticeship.  Mom became a dental hygienist and was a loyal and hard-working employee.  After marrying her high-school sweetheart, so to speak, Mom and Dad emigrated to the USA and built a very good life together.

Dad was a bricklayer, so work was seasonal and sometimes times were tough.  But, Mom made do with what she had and was never too proud to accept used furniture or used clothing.  Mom could whip up a gourmet meal out of a can of Spam, a couple of eggs and a few potatoes!  Don’t feel bad though, the things my brother and I wanted for were little luxuries, never the necessities.  Mom often did without so we could go with.

After I was born, Mom worked as a housekeeper for several years.  She loved mothering those children as much as she loved her own. She simply loved children.  Mom volunteered in the schools, Scouts, Sunday School, and Bible School.  She put great effort into preparing her lessons and each one was delivered with patience and love.

After my brother was born, Mom started caning chairs so she could continue to be at home with us.  It was not an easy craft, however, and Mom spent hours and hours on her feet repairing the seats of beautiful antiques. As we grew older, Mom started volunteering at a local nursing home; perhaps paying in advance for the care that she gets now.

Mom loved her grandchildren dearly.  Nothing quite delighted her like when my brother and I and our families would visit.  Babysitting the grandchildren was pure joy.  She taught the kids Bible stories, silly little songs, appreciation for nature and nearby parks, and the importance of picking up the toys after play.  The grandkids loved swimming in the pool, and would eagerly (at least when they were little!) help set the table, prepare dessert, and exchange hugs.

Mom and Dad both loved having friends over to enjoy the pool, or to play a few rounds of Rummy or Canasta while enjoying some good food and drink along the way. Give Mom a reason to pull out the German china and silverware, and she was a happy woman.  Coffee and cake was always served, no German hostess would be without!

Mom’s Christian faith was strong and central to the lives my parents lived.  Agree or disagree with the roots of religion, their faith gave them both the strength they needed to dwell in positivity rather than the diseases they each would greatly suffer from.

My Mom is about to become a great-grandmother, as my grandson is due on Tuesday.  She would have delighted in the event!  I could just see her clappping her hands together, pursing her lips, and enthusiastically shivering as she always did when excited by happy news.

All we can do now is hope that all the birthdays Mom was fully present for were good ones.  Hopefully, she felt our love and gratitude.  Even when we disagreed, it was never without an appreciation for the hard times she endured and the joy she chose to dwell in every day.

Happy birthday, Mom.

Why is he no longer with us?  Colorectal cancer.

Dad fought cancer for nearly ten years.  In part because he waited to go for his initial test, his diagnosis meant a removal of his rectum and a permanent colostomy.  He endured debilitating chemotherapy treatments for months.  His diagnosis and subsequent treatment forced him to retire from his work as a bricklayer and highly skilled stone mason.  About three years later the cancer returned, this time spreading to his lungs.  He had one of his lungs removed and more chemotherapy.  Over the next few years, tumors would appear in his liver and esophagus.  Radiation treatments left him with severe burns, chemotherapy left him nauseated and worn out.  Finally, the cancer spread to Dad’s spine, which caused unimaginable pain as he continued to try and live a full life, also caring for our Mom who was beginning to sink into Alzheimer’s Disease.  Up until just two weeks before his death, Dad was at home, determined to not only live, but remain independent.

Your Sunday Service challenge this week?  If you are over 50 years old, and haven’t been tested yet, schedule a colonoscopy.  Don’t listen to the myths, it is not a painful procedure. If you’re like me, and have colorectal cancer in your family, you should be tested even earlier.  I’m 53 and have had three colonoscopies, all clear.  Now, I just need to have one every five years.

According to the American Cancer Society, colon cancer is one of the five most common cancers in the United States, and one of the most common causes of cancer deaths.  However, when treated early, before spreading, the five year survival rate is 90%.

Get tested.  It’s your life you may be saving, but also the lives of those who love you that you are impacting by your choice.

If you would like to support colorectal cancer research and patient services, consider giving to the American Cancer Society or the Colon Cancer Alliance.  Before donating to any organization, research how your dollars will be spent.  Charity Navigator is a well-respected resource for you.

Male breast cancer is most often diganosed between the ages of 60 and 70 years, but it can occur in younger men. While men have less breast tissue, they still have breast cells that can experience the same breast cancer changes as women’s breast tissue. However, due to the muscular structure of the male breast, growths are not as easily discovered early, and have often spread before they are found.

 The husband of a former co-worker was diagnosed a few years ago, and he went through many of the same treatments and experiences as women who are diagnosed. I remember how his wife, my co-worker, experienced many challenges not only helping him through radiation and chemotherapy, but also dealing with how some insensitive people reacted to hearing that a man had breast cancer.  This is no joking matter.

NBCAM.com provides the following information about male breast cancer.  Go to this page to read more.  Treatments are very similar to breast cancer in women, up to and including mastectomy.

[Men] It is important to see a doctor if any of the following changes to the breasts is noticed:

• A lump or swelling in the chest area
• Dimpled or puckered skin
• A nipple that is inverted (facing inward)
• Redness or scaling of the nipple or breast skin
• Discharge from the nipple

Most breast lumps in men are due to gynecomastia and not cancer. Gynecomastia, the most common male breast disorder, is an increase in the amount of a man’s breast tissue. However, it is still important to see a medical professional about any of the symptoms, including a lump, to rule out male breast cancer.

If you are a woman observing National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, don’t forget the men in your life.  If you’re not sure how to open up a dialogue on the subject, consider just sending a link to this post.  Include a message saying something like,

“Because I care about you and your health, I thought you should read this.”

I simply had a good old-fashioned case of the “crud!”

How fortunate am I that, when feeling miserable, I could hurry on over to my nearest Urgent Care?  I was seen within fifteen minutes, got a diagnosis, treatment recommendation, and was sent on my way.  Then I quickly stopped at the nearest grocery store to pick up the needed medications. 

It’s easy to get frustrated with the high cost of some medical care, the long wait times in many doctors’ offices, the high cost of medical insurance; or, the lack of insurance altogether.  However…

…today, I am thankful for ready access to healthcare.

Millions of people around the world don’t have adequate healthcare.  Nearby doctors and affordable medications are what the dreams of many ill people are made of.  Instead of complaining about doctors, waits, costs, and the like, I am choosing to focus on the advantages we have over so many when it comes to our health and wellbeing. 

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward

Will you join the gratitude movement?

This month is the first ever World Alzheimer’s Month and today, September 21, is Alzheimer’s Action Day.

This is important for many reasons, but personally because my Mom has been living with Alzheimer’s for about fifteen years, the last six in a specialized care facility.  It is a sad, sad sight to see her these days.  She sits in a chair, staring off into space, occasionally seeming to see something that launches her into anger and angst.  Two years ago came the day I feared the most, when she no longer recognized me.

Alzheimer’s is a cruel, cruel disease of the brain.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association website, “Today, there are more than 35 million people living with dementia worldwide. And Alzheimer’s disease is the only cause of death among the top 10 in America without a way to prevent, cure or even slow its progression. It’s going to take all of us to end this disease, but together, we can move toward a world without Alzheimer’s.”

What can you do?

Learn about Alzheimer’s Disease. Know the signs.  Don’t abandon friends and neighbors that are diagnosed or are caregivers. Watch this message from President Obama and share the concerns that you would like the National Alzheimer’s Plan to address.   Help turn Twitter and Facebook purple by substituting your profile picture with the End Alz emblem.  And, if you can financially support Alzheimer’s research efforts, click here and please give what you can. 

The End of Alzheimer’s Starts With Me. And You.

Right?

Wrong.

Today’s tumor was 1.2 cm, more than twice the size of last week’s 1 cm growth.  The incision, due to it’s proximity to my mouth and the doctor’s desire to not alter the shape of my lips, was 6.5 cm, nearly three times as long as last week’s incision of 2.5 cm.  I have 20 stitches, 5 more than last week’s surgery.  Most of the second incision was straight, along the laugh line, so even though it was much longer, the number of stitches didn’t multiply accordingly.

So, thankfully, that’s it for now.  A month of healing for the swelling to go down, about a year for permanent coloration. Hopefully, the scars won’t be too obvious since they are in a laugh line.  Then, annual body scans going forward to catch any other growths early.  I’ll still spend time at my favorite beach for vacation.  I’ll just be much, much smarter and diligent about protecting my skin.

I hope that you’ll remember my experience.  Protect your skin and your child’s skin.  The doctor said most of the long term damage happens when you’re young.  Skin cancer is not a disease limited to older people, it simply waits until then to reveal itself.  Tell your friends. Tell your family.  Use sunscreen. Wear protective clothing.

What can you do?

Use  a lotion with a higher SPF rating; a 4 or an 8 is not enough.  Your lotion should have both UVA and UVB protection for skin surface and deeper tissue protection.  Apply generously, frequently and reapply after going in the water – even if your brand’s label says it is waterproof.  Wear sunscreen anytime you are outside, not just specifically when tanning.  Avoid tanning beds. 

Click HERE for a tip sheet on how to best protect your skin and HERE for the top five products rated by ConsumerSearch.com.  You can also find wide range of information on the American Cancer Society’s website.  Click HERE and be sure to check the pull down menu labelled “TOPICS.”

Be smart. Take care of your skin.  You need it for your whole life.

Alex was diagnosed with cancer before her first birthday.  Her entire too-short life was filled with surgeries, treatments, and countless trips to the hospital.  After one such trip for a stem cell transplant after her fourth birthday, Alex declared that she wanted to open a lemonade stand to raise money so the doctors could help other kids, too.  Her first lemonade stand raised $2000.

By the time Alex passed away in August 2004, she and others raised over a million dollars, “one cup at a time.”  The inspiration of Alex’s delightful attitude and her mission to help others lives on today, with over $45 million raised in total, funding more than 200 projects at 50 institutions.

If you’re looking for something to inspire your kids as summer winds down, why not encourage them to host a lemonade stand to celebrate Alex’s birthday?

The Foundation website includes instructions to help you make it a success.  Get the kids brains working again before school starts!  The can read about Alex, plan the event, use their artistic skills to make signs and posters, prepare a mini-budget and help shop for supplies, follow directions to prepare the lemonade, and use their math skills to count the donations. 

What a great way for parents and caregivers to help children develop concern for their fellow human beings.  Families can also talk about the importance of compassion as the children head back to school.  Instead of staring or even poking fun at children with no hair, who may not be able to walk, or who have to take special medications in school, children can learn that those children may be struggling with a serious health issue.

Alex’s lessons can be shared in so many ways!

Lemonade stands aren’t just for children, either.  Adults can host a stand, maybe in connection with your first tailgate event or at your workplace.  Young Professionals can join the Lemon Society.  You can host a virtual fundraiser, too.  The Foundation also gives ideas about many other events you can host or join to raise money for this cause.

At the very least, you can simply donate here.

Doesn’t a glass of ice lemonade sound good in the middle of this summer’s heat wave? Why not use it to do some good, too?

Before giving money to any organization, you should always research how that money is being used. Charity Navigator is a great resource and it rates Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation with four stars. 

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Today, I am thankful for the skilled hands that performed the surgery.

On Tuesday, a dermatological surgeon used her skilled hands to cut my face and carefully remove the cancerous growth.  She then stitched together the underlying tissue.  Then, a nurse gently cleaned the surgical area, and sewed up – no, embroidered! – the incision borders back together.  The stitches are neat and tiny.  The incision can barely be seen through them.

I am sure that a few weeks from now, when all the stitches are removed, the swelling goes down, and my face heals, the average person will not be able to tell that I had two surgeries between my nose and cheek.  The skilled hands that did the work were a blessing to me, and I am ever so grateful.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward

 Will you join the gratitude movement?

 PS: Please use sunscreen and insist that any children in your life do, as well!