Happy Anniversary, Ken!
This is my wedding picture. Very 70s, don’t you think? I’m not quite as thin as I was then and my husband, Ken, shaves his head and just shaved the mustache last year. Appearances and wisdom aside, we are still the happy couple you see here.
Today is our 31st wedding anniversary. As we’ve approached this date, we’ve had an ongoing conversation about how different we are in many ways; yet, how similar we are in many others. Here are just a few examples…
Fitness
Him: Ken has been a workout fanatic since I met him when he was 19 and I was 17. To this day, he works out five mornings a week, leaving the house at 4:30 a.m. to head to the gym. Just this past Saturday, he competed in a pump & run.
Me: I hate to sweat! Exercising would not show up on any to-do list I would make. Of course, I’ve struggled with weight management my whole life, but exercise? Oh, no!
Us: There is nothing quite like taking a bike ride together on a cool summer evening down to the boat docks. A nice walk around the neighborhood talking about our day, or walking through nearby woods, timed to arrive at the water by sunset.
Money
Him: Ken went grocery shopping on Saturday and picked up two peaches. Why? Because they were on sale for 99 cents a pound.
Me: I stopped at another grocery store and noticed the most spectacular basket of peaches. I stopped and picked out two perfectly ripened fruits simply because they looked so good. I had no idea how much they cost.
Us: When we got home, we laughed at the fact that we both bought two peaches. Realizing that I didn’t know what I paid, Ken asked, “What if they were $2.99 pound?” My response? I still would have bought two peaches! He simply shook his head.
Attitude
Him: Ken calls himself a “realist,” neither positive nor negative. He claims to just see things the way they are.
Me: I am a total positive possibility thinker. I always see the best in a person or situation. For as long as I can remember, Ken has been telling me to take off my rose-colored glasses.
Us: We balance each other perfectly. I think that I help Ken see that there is always another side to the story. Ken tries to keep me grounded in reality; sometimes, people really do have ulterior motives!
Gift-giving
Him: Ken never ever wants anyone to spend money on him, for any reason. I’ve tried telling him that he is denying the gift-giver an opportunity to express love and share joy; especially when it’s our children. He thinks the gift-giver should respect his wishes.
Me: I think it’s a kind and generous thing if someone wants to give me a gift. I never want it to be a big expensive gift. There is no need to spend a lot of money to express a birthday wish or a thank you. My heart is warmed most by the small gifts that show the other person gave the gift-giving some real thought.
Us: Neither one of us would give a second thought to helping someone in need or giving to a worthy charity. Whether it’s an anonymous gift card left at the desk of a needy co-worker, funding scholarships at programs we believe in, or always making enough food for the kids to take home; nothing says happiness like the joy of freely giving, and expecting nothing in return.
There are many more ways that we differ, and yet together we are a perfect match. We were raised in different religions and we have different political backgrounds; I’m from a small family, Ken is from a large one; I love eating out and he would much rather eat a simple home-cooked meal; I love watching sports on TV and he could easily give up the cable; I’m very organized, Ken – well, not so much!
Although I think we are a great couple, I would never say that each of us is half of a whole. I think that demeans the strong people that we are individually. We are whole as individuals, but together we are that much stronger, that much smarter, that much more loving, that much more generous, that much more independent, and that much more balanced than either of us is alone.
Many people have selected verses from I Corinthians 13 read at their wedding. We did, 31 years ago today. Now, we have a plaque with some of these verses on the wall in our bedroom. They are just as meaningful today as they were then. I believe they have to be read in context, to understand their full power, as they were at our wedding:
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Tags: Attitude, Family, Gratitude, Happiness, Life
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