A lesson from Sister Mary Judith
Yesterday’s Oprah featured an interview with a group of nuns from the Dominican Sisters of Mary convent in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I found the conversation with the nuns on the show, and film clips from Lisa Ling’s visit and overnight stay at the convent, to be quite fascinating. Snippets of their daily life were shared, such as 5:30 a.m. mass, no speaking during meals, competitive afternoon field hockey games, and evening quiet solitude and prayer time. Ninety-eight nuns live at the convent, with a surprisingly young average age of 26. Their ranks have grown from four sisters in 1997 to 98 sisters today.
My interest and reverence for nuns is rooted in my childhood. My Dad helped build a convent for retired nuns in Hightstown, NJ. He was the foreman of the masonry crew that did all the brick and stone work. On weekends, Dad would take us to visit the work site. I particularly recall the tall steeple seemingly reaching and pointing toward the heavens. Dad used to reverently tell stories of the nuns bringing lemonade and cakes to the men when it was breaktime.
I remember attending the Open House the nuns hosted when construction was complete. As a young child, the skull that sat on the top of the plain dresser in each bedroom made a lasting impression on me. The skull was a reminder for the sisters that their time on earth was temporary and they should stay focused on eternal life.
And, so it was, that I was captivated by the nuns on Oprah.
During the interview, the women were sharing the journey of their calling, what drew them to this lifetime commitment to the church. One of them, Sister Mary Judith, shared how she grew up on a Canadian Indian reservation, surrounded by drugs and addicts. She left the reservation for college, and found herself increasingly restless. She simply didn’t feel like she fit in. She longed to find her place in life.
“Where can I give who I am?” she wondered.
What a powerful question. I wondered how many people we cross paths with during our lifetime are seeking that very thing. Each person has a wonderful gift within themselves, a passion perhaps not yet found, something that makes them unique. Imagine the possibilities of simply accepting them. As they are. Who they are.
Some people, like Sister Mary Judith, will find their home in the church. Many others may find acceptance in a loving relationship, at school, among co-workers. Yet others, sadly, will find acceptance among gangs, pimps, or drug dealers.
Sister Mary Judith went on to say,
“If this is what you’re meant to be, you’re going to become more yourself over time. More free to be who you are.”
What a gift we can give to others! Acceptance. The freedom to be who they are. Providing the space for them to grow into the person they were meant to be. Becoming even more of themselves. Being fully present to their own possibilities.
Who can you support on their life’s journey? Who may be struggling trying to figure out, “Where can I give who I am?” How can you give them the possibility of peace; inner peace with who they are and who they are meant to be?
Tags: Charity, Community, Compassion, Fully Present, Happiness, Peace, Positivity, Possibilities
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March 4, 2010 at 6:07 am
I was particularly moved by this writing, although I have to tell you, I am motivated by all of what you have written. And again, I must say, you truly have a talent with words.
Some people find it so easy to “be who they are meant to be” yet I think most struggle to find that. While you can be accepting of what others in your life want to be, and encourage it, I think it is hard for many to identify “what they are meant to be”. How does one figure that out? Also how do people find confidence in themselves? I know you start by identifying your strengths and build on that but translating that into a job is very challenging especially in this economic market.
But beyond a “job” I guess to you last question, other than listening to others and encouraging them to try activities etc. that are in line with their best self, how do you help someone – or is that all you can really do? In the end, they have to take the leap.
March 4, 2010 at 8:27 am
Claire – thank you for stopping by, reading, commenting, and for the wonderful feedback about my writing.
I don’t know that I have answers to all of your questions, but I am thrilled that this post has caused you to think about them. I guess one thing I would say is that – I believe – part of the reason that people don’t uncover who they are meant to be is the fear of what others will think and actual judgments that are put on them by others. If we can be truly accepting of their authentic self, we can break down that barrier, creating a space of freedom and support. Yes, the journey of self-discovery is theirs, but we can help clear the path a bit.