Being Fully Present

“A little bit of nervousness, a little bit of butterflies is kind of what gives you that edge.” -Drew Brees

“If you have stage fright, it never goes away. But then I wonder: is the key to that magical performance because of the fear? ” -Stevie Nicks

I like to think that I’m a pretty good communicator, even in a public forum.  I have facilitated brainstorming sessions, large group meetings, community volunteer rallies, training sessions, and various other types of gatherings that required me to be in the front of the room.  I get very good feedback from the participants.

If I am in a position where I have to take the stage, so to speak, I will.  And, I will give it my best and do it well.  However, I don’t readily seek out those opportunities.  My confidence flounders.  I worry that I won’t serve the audience well.  I catch myself being present to anxiety instead of being fully present to possibility and opportunity.

I have recently been involved in scheduling some meetings across the country to seek feedback on a new product concept. I have avoided being the lead in those meetings because other people have stronger, established relationships with our interviewees.  My concern was that if I failed to “perform well,” I could compromise the success of our project, as well as diminish the impression that peers may have of me as a competent communicator.  Even though I know the concept inside and out, having been involved since it was just a glimmer in someone’s vision, I was still afraid that I would not be able to speak to it with an expert’s confidence.

Of course, it was all nerves and fear of failure.  It was the introvert in me thinking that an extrovert’s skills are needed for these meetings.  It was stage fright.  I was ignoring the gifts I have to engage others in an inspired, shared dialogue.

Until I got an email from the owner of our company that reminded me of what I bring to the table.

I had spoken to him about doing an introduction to one of the people we wanted to interview.  Those of us involved in the project did not have a strong (or any) relationship with her, but he did.  He agreed to call her and propose the interview idea.  He then sent me an email which included the following:

You should really think about flying to Chicago to visit personally with her.  I could see you and her hitting it off big time.  She is smart, good looking, motivated, and a proven leader.  Just as you are!

My response?  If he believes in me, I should too!  I’m going to Chicago and taking the lead on this one!  I’m sure it will be fine.  My nervousness will help me prepare far better than if I weren’t worried at all.  As Drew Brees said above, perhaps that nervousness will actually give me an edge.  Or, like Stevie Nicks, will the fear lead to a magical experience?

What I need to think about is why did I need the vote of confidence from someone else in a position of authority and leadership instead of just having that confidence to begin with?  I need to spend some time on that one.

I’m curious about your experiences.  How do you deal with stage fright, nerves, of lack of confidence?  How can we be as confident about our abilities as others are?

And, what would you do if you knew you would not fail?

This entry was posted on February 6, 2010 at 11:53 am and is filed under Leadership, Possibility. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Business, Communication, Fully Present, Goals, Life, Positivity, Possibilities